Yum Yums For Lunch (And Other Backwards Thinking) (Originally published September 11, 2009)


I am a college student, and like most college students, my life is one of constant discovery and experimentation.  However, since I also happen to be a loser, those experimentations do not involve drugs or hilarious sexual trysts I’ll be fondly embarrassed of years down the line.  No, no, every new thing I try involves food.  Specifically, waffles.

Holy shit are waffles awesome.  The act of eating waffles is so multifaceted I could…  do something good.  You can eat them dry; always a solid on-the-go option.  You can put butter and apple sauce on them; weird but acceptable.  No matter what you do, they rule.  I prefer slathering them in syrup and eating them like giant delicious crackers.

Before you freak out, I have had waffles before.  They were a staple of grade school breakfast in the Samuelson household.  However, social norms always stated I need to eat them in the morning.  But now that I’m an all-knowing college student, I get to be pretentious and avant garde.  That’s right, you guessed it: I ate waffles for lunch today.  Move over, Warhol, there’s a new guy in town, and he loves his breakfast food…  For lunch!

This got me thinking: what else could I do to change my life to make me more of an individual?  Could I braid my hair into pig tails and claim it’s a protest against the war in Iraq?  Sure!  Can I start listening to a lot of reggae and wear a Rastafarian hat?  Don’t mind if I do!  Can I throw darts at small children, take pictures of their terrified faces, and call it art?  Probably not.  But what I’m getting at is this: waffles rock.  That is all.  Have a good day.

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