I am a college student, and like most college students, my life is one of constant discovery and experimentation. However, since I also happen to be a loser, those experimentations do not involve drugs or hilarious sexual trysts I’ll be fondly embarrassed of years down the line. No, no, every new thing I try involves food. Specifically, waffles.
Holy shit are waffles awesome. The act of eating waffles is so multifaceted I could… do something good. You can eat them dry; always a solid on-the-go option. You can put butter and apple sauce on them; weird but acceptable. No matter what you do, they rule. I prefer slathering them in syrup and eating them like giant delicious crackers.
Before you freak out, I have had waffles before. They were a staple of grade school breakfast in the Samuelson household. However, social norms always stated I need to eat them in the morning. But now that I’m an all-knowing college student, I get to be pretentious and avant garde. That’s right, you guessed it: I ate waffles for lunch today. Move over, Warhol, there’s a new guy in town, and he loves his breakfast food… For lunch!
This got me thinking: what else could I do to change my life to make me more of an individual? Could I braid my hair into pig tails and claim it’s a protest against the war in Iraq? Sure! Can I start listening to a lot of reggae and wear a Rastafarian hat? Don’t mind if I do! Can I throw darts at small children, take pictures of their terrified faces, and call it art? Probably not. But what I’m getting at is this: waffles rock. That is all. Have a good day.
